I Saved Mankind

March 27, 2008 | Filed Under Gibberish 

^{Saving mankind is no easy feat, but I managed to do that recently, ie. Tuesday morning at work.}

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One fine morning, I was happily working as usual until something stopped the smile on my face. I felt the dumbfounding and abrupt force coming out from my anus. It was the morning call again. Time to visit my favourite place at work, the toilet (where I can have my 15 minutes break, playing games and reading blogs on my mobile).



You see, in the whole workplace, the nearest toilet which is about 50 metres away (which was surprisingly huge) has only one frigging cubicle in it. That means if the cubicle is occupied and I was about to blast my nuclear waste, I would have to look for another cubicle. I walked swiftly to the toilet whilst thinking of things that would sustain the nuclear waste in my “nuclear shell”, which I hoped would prevent misfiring the atomic energy on mankind.

Upon reaching the toilet door, words could not describe how relieved I felt as there was no cleaning sign, and nor was there anyone in the cubicle. I rushed to the cubible and got in without hesitating.
However, just when I was about to close the door of the cubicle and lock it, I noticed a few things that was downright wrong in the cubicle:

1. The scent stench of ammonia in the cubicle was WAY beyond normal.
2. The toilet roll was on the floor, and the floor was not exactly in its cleanest state.
3. The toilet seat had yellowish urine all over it, and it stinked the living daylights out of me.

There was also a “lovely” gift from the previous toilet-user to me. He presented it to me in a form of his 3-inched brown excretion, floating on the toilet bowl. It was not slimy or soft, but appeared semi-hard. Based on my observation, I have deduced a few theories on the previous toilet-user:

1. He had eaten some yummy stuff the night before that could float in water.
2. He is a rather healthy bloke, but does not drink enough water, thus the yellowish urine.
3. He is an impulsive person. Why do I say that? Well, if he had enjoyed the whole process of passing motion like how 99.99% of people today do by playing their mobile phones, DS or PSPs, he wouldn’t have had to rush through the satisfying process and leave the whole place messy for the next user, ie. Me.
4. He is an idiot.
5. He is an idiot.

Because I am such a nice gentleman, I did the most honourable thing and flushed his excretion down for him. I did not take a second look/smell of the cubicle and trotted to the next nearest toilet. The next one had urine on the toilet cover too. I felt so dirty and used when I wiped the yellowish substance away with the toilet paper.

ps. No. I did manage to get to the second toilet before I discharge my nuclear toxic on mankind. I saved the world.

Some other interesting reads..

• February 27, 2008 -- Daily Routine at Work (2)
• October 13, 2008 -- Halfpipe at the Perth Royal Show 2008 (4)
• February 28, 2008 -- The Big Question (3)
• November 20, 2007 -- Do You Remember.. (2)
• November 15, 2007 -- Craig David - Trust Me Album (2)
• July 18, 2008 -- Bummer (1)
• October 28, 2007 -- Rough Times (3)

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